Talking to our Kids about Adoption

A few weeks ago I shared the story of how my husband and I were led to pursue adoption. After posting the story, I received the kindest words of encouragement from you all. The story was shared numerous times and my heart was blessed by all your sweet comments. Today, I want to continue the discussion of adoption by answering a frequently asked question: “Will you tell them they’re adopted?”

YES.

Absolutely, enthusiastically YES! This is the story of their life, of our miracle, of how our family came to be. There is nothing about that that I want to hide from my boys. However, it’s not a fact I want to spring on them at a certain age. I never want them to have a “I remember the day I was told I was adopted” moment, along with them trying to find loved ones using the internet. I want it to be a running conversation that starts at the earliest possible age. That means now.

Just a few weeks ago my sister had a new baby. My boys had the chance to go meet Baby Preston and see that he was once in Auntie’s belly, but now he’s here. We got to hear how auntie went to the hospital and had him, but he was a little bit sick and needed to stay there overnight. How sad they were they couldn’t bring him home the first night, and how overjoyed they were to have him here now. They even saw the full feature stroller that my sister had bought for Preston. They seemed to think it was a tiny vehicle for the little one, and they weren’t actually wrong. Considering that they’d never seen so much baby gear before, they were pretty curious; they wanted to know everything! We heard the whole, beautiful birth story. As a parent of adopted kids, I am missing the birth story. I can’t tell them about the nine months they grew in my tummy. I don’t have pictures of a baby shower to show them, there are no ultrasound photos to ooh and ahh at. But I do have a story, and it is no less beautiful or miraculous. That’s the story I want to share and celebrate with them!

We have already begun telling my boys about their story. We share it over everyday moments like making snacks and reading books. Graham cracker snacks are our favorite and Honey Maid has long recognized and celebrated that while the makeup and day-to-day lives of families have evolved, the idea and importance of wholesome family connections remains the same.

(These are two of my favorite adoption books to introduce to toddlers! Check out A Mother for Choco and A Blessing From Above if you’re interested in using picture books to talk about the topic of adoption.)

We also had a photo book made chronicling the day of their arrival and their first year home with us. It’s a sweet way to smile and laugh about our family story.

In our family, talking about their adoption lies in the everyday moments. It’s in talking about their favorite snacks now and their favorite snacks then. About how my youngest son is as cuddly today as when he was first placed in my arms. About how my oldest is just as rambunctious now as he was when he was a baby trying to climb out of his crib. And about how they both love tickles now just like then they were babies! I wonder if our stories can help couples through the process. Of course, there are several guides for learning about how a Florida adoption home study or adoption in general, and everything there is about it.

I was thankful to Honey Maid for sponsoring this blog post and encouraging real families to tell their stories through the #Thisiswholesome campaign. Honey Maid has long recognized and celebrated that while the makeup and day-to-day lives of families have evolved, the idea and importance of wholesome family connections remains the same.

I was selected for this opportunity as a member of Clever Girls and the content and opinions expressed here are all my own.